During my study on consciousness I discovered how I could act like a ball in a pinball machine. External factors shove me from left to right, up and down. On the background, old patterns from my youth and processes ran simultaneously. This combination of on the spot factors and long-running processes can work very counter-productive.

When I decided to only paint and photograph I also decided to pay special attention to my processes. The goal was and is to improve the quality my work. And to improve my level of satisfaction and my success as an autodidact artist. I am a male, 49 years old and in a foreign country in the middle of nowhere. Three good reasons to not expect much help or support.

And thus, I do not want to waste time and slouch. What works, what does not work and why are questions that keep me focussed. So what follows is a list of points of failure I identify while I work. The posts that are about creativity and failure are here below.

Politics

In the past two weeks I read and spoke about politics with various friends of mine. The current state of affairs in this world saddens me. Most people I know fall into the 85/15 Salomon Ash category of obedient and conforming people. However, I am an non-conformist, resist authority and am extremely creative. So why…

Repeating myself

Singularity 1 Singularity 2 It seems I have tremendous troubles to repeat myself when I paint. I have an idea that I like and then I make another painting with the same theme. This new painting starts off well but gradually I feel that I have to finish the painting. Some aspect of excitement has…

Why current education program kills creativity

Current education program kills creativity because children need to switch from one subject matter to another in a too short time. This is disastrous for creativity as there is no time to digest the information that is presented. One needs to accept the information, memorize the information and move on to the next class. In…

No Tools

Due to circumstances, I am without some tools which I started to rely on. Now I am back behind my old Mac (2009) and with old versions of some those same tools (software). Some of the software does not have older versions available and thus I am completely without. And for the tools that does…

Points of Failure

During my study on consciousness I discovered how I could act like a ball in a pinball machine. External factors shove me from left to right, up and down. On the background, old patterns from my youth and processes ran simultaneously. This combination of on the spot factors and long-running processes can work very counter-productive.…

New tools

New tools take time to master and I estimated I would have some grip on Blender 2.8 within a couple of days. It is not that I spent full days to learn Blender and that might have been one cause of my frustration. The grand idea was to model 3d spaces I need for my…

Seeing too much art work

When I watch too many paintings by other people, I begin to feel lost. There are many interesting works of art out there. From each of those works I can adopt an element and integrate it into my work. I do not yet seem to be able to choose or filter well. These images become…

From large to small

In this post “From large to small”, I write about the decision to paint smaller. When I paint smaller, I solve two real problems. In my post “Points of Failure”, I make a list of also other topics related to getting stuck and how to overcome this. My recent paintings are large, about 150 cm…

About Dystopian Landscape

Dystopian Landscape is the fifth painting since I last time wrote about painting and my paintings. Three paintings I took off the wall and one of them has become Dystopian Landscape. I still need to write about Loneliness, Desire, Singularity 1 and Singularity 2. My work space with stuff all over the place. In Dystopian…

Row with the oars you got

This is perhaps the must profound statement I repeat inside my mind when I tend to slip into la-la-land. And la-la-land is the world of how things should be. La-la-land is where I can find many, very many people. It is a land where nothing happens as the objective is always out of reach. In…

Fear of failing

“I am not good enough” or “there are so many great artists” or “I can never be as good as…”. Be the best person you possibly can be, is my response. Another often repeated piece of advice I gave to my students is phrased as a question: what is your best next step? I got…